The changing of the year can be overwhelming. You reflect on the previous year, set goals for the year ahead, and try your damnedest to remember to write the correct date on your checks.
Last year was berzerk. I was deeply affected by the political climate. For a short bit, I became downright withdrawn. Whenever I feel a hint of a depressive spiral like this coming on, I channel our good ole friend Sigmund Freud…
Sigmund’s my boy.
I always knew I was built for motherhood and I had romantic notions of being a well-rounded Mom and creatively thriving entrepreneur. We all know this duality is a tough gig. If left unbalanced, it’s easy to morph into one derailed and adrift mama. An enlightened soul would say this is the perfect opportunity for personal growth. Enlightenment is a continual goal for me, so I’m passionately onboard.
I’ve made it no secret that my transition to our new community has been rocky. Despite the rude behavior I often encounter in this inclement tempered and weathered place, I’ve made the conscious decision to smile MORE, get WILDY excited about the future, fantasize about all the FUN things the boys and I will do this year, and embrace my inner OCD while compulsively decluttering in preparation for our next move.
Since relocating, I’ve shelved my misgivings and sidelined my creative dreams to nurture a charmed life for my family. And guess what? THEY’RE ALL GOOD. They’re immensely loved, live in a perfectly styled and obnoxiously clean home, they receive systematically folded laundry daily, their fridge is methodically stocked, they’re shuttled to practices, playdates, and parties on the fly. …I digress. Where was I?
…No really, where does that leave ME? Where does that leave many Moms? Of course, you expect life to deal the good with the bad, but sometimes it feels unbalanced and we shouldn’t feel ashamed for not having the perfectly shiny life our Facebook page portrays.
During a recent text-a-ton with a fellow adrift Mom, she wrote:
I think the hump is ego. We don’t want to admit we’re lost. I mean, how dare us be lost? We have a vagina, so we must know how to raise kids, create a home, sex it up, be social media relevant, have an envious career, and do it all with that competitive FU spirit we were taught by the world.
Holy sh*t, we just got Rousey’ed in the first round. I’m talkin’ knocked-out with a brutal truth bomb. Somebody give her a championship belt.
I know within this little tribe of ours there are overwhelmed, overextended, drowning souls who desperately need help peeling away the layers the world imposed, ultimately finding truer meaning to their lives. No more clutter, mindless eating, unrealistic expectations, self-imposed stress and guilt, and for God’s sake, no more settling.
It’s like spiritual alchemy. We have to decide to put aside the harmful habits of our egos so we can finally explore what’s underneath. Too philosophical? Sorry, but time makes you bolder… children get older… I’m getting older, too.
My life is turning into a flippin’ Fleetwood Mac song.
Look, 2016 proved more so than ever that life isn’t perfect. Sometimes the poem doesn’t rhyme. Life is about not knowing what’s around the corner and then adjusting our sails, taking in the moment, and making the best of it. I think it was Gilda Radner who coined life’s uncertainty as ‘delicious ambiguity.’ Last year was all that deliciousness and a greasy, messy bag of chips.
While desperately searching for blog communities from which to learn, I shared my lost at sea sh*tstorm on an unexpectant Facebook audience. An anonymous woman wrote, “What could you write about for hours on end that would be helpful and useful to others?” Ahhh, the ole search for soulful purpose ploy. I’ll see your purpose ploy and raise you a growth gambit. You see, we find purpose, we grow, we lose purpose, we grow, we discover new purpose, and we keep growing. It’s like childbirth. We feel the pain, forget the pain, and sign up to do it all over again.
So, let’s break the cycle of stressing over New Year resolutions, shall we? Beau Taplin made perfect sense when he wrote, “The division of time into years is a human invention, and the fact is that every moment of every day is another opportunity for resolution and growth. Relax and enjoy the moment. The rest will come to you.”
So how about this for a solution. What if rather than trying to solve our entire lives, we just think about subtracting heavy unnecessities and adding simplistic good things one day at a time. Let’s simply let our good things pile grow. …Oh, and for extra credit, let’s learn to chew rather than swallow our food whole. Let’s declutter, too, by removing all things toxic and then throw in some enlightening solutions like meditation, wellness, exercise, and travel, for good measure. Would you look at that? I think we’re growing.
I don’t know for sure what the next chapter will bring, but if it involves our little tribe finding significance, connection, contribution, variety, and even a small dose of certainty, I’m upping the ante.
Whether or not we realize it amidst the discomfort and confusion, we’re awakening, and the end result will be insanely awesome.
Many people who are going through the early stages of the awakening process are no longer certain what their outer purpose is. What drives the world no longer drives them. Seeing the madness of our civilization so clearly, they feel somewhat alienated from the culture around them. Some feel that they inhabit a no-man’s-land between two worlds. They are no longer run by the ego, yet the arising awareness has not yet become fully integrated into their lives. Inner and outer purpose have not merged.”
Come on, let’s show up and go merge those suckers.
If you share your crazy with my crazy, then we’re not really crazy, right?
…Discover more enlightening inspiration by visiting the holy grail of aesthetic enlightenment, Pinterest.